An absolutely gorgeous episode featuring the breath of fresh air that is Editor Yasmine Almosawi. Hustling, hilarious, and completely herself after years of masking her true identity to be accepted, Yas is a talented, Emmy award winning Editor who has faced blatant discrimination, yet worked harder for it and given back to the industry. In this pod, she generously shares her experiences with Kimberly in the hope that others will feel empowered to call people out in the future, or support those it's happening to.
A Talented People podcast - www.talentedpeople.tv / @talentdpeople
Thanks to Edit Cloud for being awesome humans and funding the edit of season two with their cool virtual software: www.editcloud.co
Affiliate partner: We love Conote Pocketbook - www.conote.tv / eleanor@conote.tv who make consent forms easier, safer and less time consuming. Please note that Talented People may get a small commission on any product you buy or use when mentioning The Imposter Club.
Actions we would love you fellow Imposters to take:
Episode guest info:
Yas on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yasmine-almosawi-043058a1/
About her on Edit Girls: https://editgirls.com/careerstories/yasminealmosawi
Resources
Film & TV charity - https://filmtvcharity.org.uk/ - 24 hour support line, as well as lots of other useful resources.
Samaritans
- https://www.samaritans.org/
Mind
- https://www.mind.org.uk/
Shout - if you would prefer to text not talk
https://giveusashout.org/
Call It - bullying and harrassment
https://www.callitapp.org/
Mentioned in this episode:
Conote Pocketbook - consent form management for busy TV & film teams
Get 20% by mentioning The Imposter Club podcast www.conote.tv - for a browse eleanor@conote.tv - for a chat and a demo
Edit Cloud - the world's first fully native cloud-based virtual editing solution
www.editcloud.co Such lovely, forward-thinking people, do say hello and check out the future of post with them. Founder: Simon Green on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-gr33n/ Big thanks to Simon, Ash and the team at Edit Cloud for editing season 2.
The Imposter Club is produced by Talented People, staffing and headhunting company in TV production with a mission to make the industry a happier, more creatively diverse place.
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Coming up,
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I'd gone into the edit.
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I was just pinging in my settings and the director just burst into the room and he went, do not touch anything.
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You are obviously inexperienced, don't touch anything.
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And I was like shaking.
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I was so furious.
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This is The Imposter Club, the podcast uniting all us tv, film, and content folk secretly stressing that everyone else has its sorted.
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Except us.
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I'm Kimberly Godbolt, TV director, turn staff and company founder.
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And each episode I want you to hear the real story of a successful industry figure.
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Not the glossy announcements we usually see, but the truth of their career journey, including the bumpy bits to help you make sense of your own health warning.
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This podcast may incur whiplash from violent nodding plus an unfamiliar, but hopefully welcome feeling of belonging.
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Yasmine Almosawi is an Emmy award-winning offline editor.
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She grew up in a big family in a small London council flat with Middle East and and North African heritage, setting her mind on a career in TV from a young age, she paid her way through university in Portsmouth with no industry contacts.
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Yaz hustled her way in and worked her socks off before getting representation and going on to edit premium content from Netflix doc series like Tour de France.
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Unchained to BBC three's the rap game talent led single films like Danny Dyer on Anxiety for E four to Planet Sex with Cara Delevingne for Hulu, as well as countless fast turnaround, panoramas and Horizons.
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Her documentary for a and e �the day I picked my parents� won the team an Emmy in 2020.
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Yas is an integral part of a supportive WhatsApp group for editors and edit assistants and loves to give back saying, and I quote an online article.
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As an editor, I had to face experiences early on that knocked my confidence and made me question whether I should even be doing this job or if this industry had space for someone like me, which I'm absolutely going to be delving into in a minute.
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So as one of the few female editors in the industry, a role, which by the way I think often goes hugely unsung.
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Yasmin Almosawi welcome to the Imposter Club.
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Hello,
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<laugh>.
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Hi.
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Hello.
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Oh God, <laugh>.
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Hi,
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How are you?
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Feeling well.
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Nervous <laugh>.
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Super duper nervous, but it's fine.
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So yes.
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How would you describe your relationship with imposter syndrome?
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Um, it's an unwanted roommate, <laugh>.
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It's just always there.
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<laugh>, <laugh>.
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I mean, it was there today, <laugh> before coming on.
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Uh, it was there my last job.
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It was, it's almost, it is there in almost every single Goby take in this industry.
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And have you found it's changed over the years?
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Do you know what?
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It got worse over the years.
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'cause when you, when I first came into this industry, I was like full of like confidence and I knew I could edit.
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Like I always knew I could edit and that was it.
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Um, but it was, I think I let other people affect me in a way that over the years it's kind of seeped in.
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Um, I I didn't have it nearly as much at first.
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I mean, I feel like more, it's more like a, a rug than uh, like the imposter syndrome that like one day someone's gonna be like, you don't belong here.
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And they're just gonna pull the rug from underneath me.
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And I mean, I say I feel it all the time.
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It's, it's almost like a, like a slight hum in the back of my head.
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But I do actually love this job, <laugh>.
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So
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Let's take it back then to, um, your desire to get into tv.
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'cause as I understand it, you've always known you wanted to work in tv, yet the family you grew up in don't have any contacts.
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Um, there was nobody, you know, telling you to, to go that way or even influencing you.
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So how did you come to that decision and what did you do about it?
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I think it goes, it is almost like two ways.
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'cause it's like no one was in that industry.
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It wasn't that like they, they probably, my parents wanted me to do something totally different.
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My mom wanted me to be an interpreter.
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My dad wanted me to be a dentist.
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Um, both things that I think I would've fucking hated <laugh>.
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So I was just kind of like going in almost with like childhood naivety or young naivety just going in, going whatever.
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I'm just gonna fucking do it.
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And let's see what happens.
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<laugh>
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Tell me about TV then.
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What were the TV influences in your house that might have made you think I wanna do that.
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It's
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Gonna be sound mad, but like the news <laugh>.
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So a bit of context around this.
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So my, uh, dad, um, my dad's a Iraqi, um, and I grew up within the Iraqi Communist Party <laugh>.
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So, so like we grew up with politics all, oh, I grew up with like politics seeped into my very soul.
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And I remember thinking like the absolute dream would be to do a panorama, um, or to be working on Panorama.
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That was like my dream to be working on panoramas.
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And obviously they were like film influencers as well.
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I remember the first time I watched, it's totally not television, but the first time I watched Train Spotting and I was just like, oh, that's fucking, this is, that's fucking amazing.
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I think it's so, it was just so well put together.
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I was like, I, I just, there's nothing else that I want to do than this.
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Um, so I pretty much at first told, told myself how to use Adobe Premier 'cause that was the only thing I had access to.
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Uh, that was like from like, I dunno, 14 to 18.
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And then when I went to university, I learned how to use Avid and then just hustled, hustled TD <laugh>.
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Let's talk specifically about, um, how you got experience editing then, because like we, we've we've, your background is no contacts side jobs to both pay for Uni and get experience.
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Yeah.
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You've got your first job in Post.
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How do you go from there to getting representation by Indie Post?
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So while I was at Objective, I kind of just hustled my way into, uh, the tech room.
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But there will be things like, do you know how to group?
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Yeah, I know how to group doing grouping syncing.
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And then I kind of was like, can you do an online fix?
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Yes, I can do an online fix.
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So I'd jump on and do online fixes for things like, it would save, I guess it would save the production company having to bring in an online editor for a couple of hours just to have an assistant.
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He could do online fixes for something like The Cube or for Peep Show Toast of London, things like that.
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Um, and then sometimes there was in-house things that maybe they couldn't get the editor or maybe they couldn't, um, maybe they wanted to cut a taster or a teaser or a promo for something.
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Um, or like, yeah, an editor for a broadcast, uh, broadcast show and they just couldn't find it.
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And lo and behold, I mean, objective Post was very good for that.
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Um, they would get us people in tech to do those creative jobs.
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Um, probably to save money.
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But <laugh> also, it gave us the experience that I just don't think you would've had if you were working in the bigger, you know, those bigger facilities.
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But yeah.
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And then I, I was, it kept going, kept going.
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And one day there was kind of like this careers meeting and the woman was like, she, she's a couple of us in the room.
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Um, and then she asked me what I wanna do and I was like, I wanna become an editor.
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There's a lot of edits that I do here, but I don't see how I can progress.
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I'd love to, I dunno, somewhere in the back of my head, I always thought that objective would open up and have like an in-house editor and I could fill that role.
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And it was the late Anthony Owen who was in the room with us.
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And he was just, he just told me straight and I really, I respected when people are just straight and frank with you.
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And he said, if you want to become an editor, you can't do it here and you need to go and you need to find, uh, someone or some, some place that you can do that.
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But this is not the place where you it's gonna happen.
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Um, which he was.
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Right.
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'cause a couple of years later, uh, objective post closed down, but, but how did
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You feel hearing that at the time?
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That's quite brutal.
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It is brutal, but I kind of prefer it when people tell you things frankly rather than beat around the bush and go, oh, maybe or potentially, potentially that could be your future.
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Yeah.
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Because actually they could have, they could have kept you and used you for the good that you were doing, you know, in a, in a relatively cheap way and you were getting more experience, but they could have kept a lid on you.
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And actually he was saying, you need to fly the s Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And I think, I think after I, I heard that from Anthony, I remember going outside, having a fag, I'd go smoke and thinking to myself, I need to fucking leave this place that I just, I like, I, I remember just being, I was still quite young at that time as well.
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I was 24.
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I was like, I need to leave.
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But I was just thinking like, I need to go.
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It wasn't though, I never had that barrier in my head that editors are often older than you.
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Much older than you've seen editors.
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They don't look like you.
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There wasn't, that barrier hadn't come up just yet.
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<laugh>.
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Yeah.
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And then I, the only freelance agency I knew, I gave them a call and they told me to come in and I, they said, write down everything that you've done.
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And I came in and they Tash who I love so much who's taken such good care of me, to be honest.
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I remember she looked at my CV and went fucking how <laugh>, you need to leave <laugh> and you need to come to join us <laugh>.
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Um, and I did.
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Um, I did.
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Why
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Was she so shocked?
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I think it's because I, I don't, I don't know, I maybe it was like my age and I'd done so much.
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And also something I'd completely forgot to miss out.
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I'd already done a feature that had gone to multiple award shows while working at Objective.
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Um, I honestly dunno how I did it.
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'cause I still partied proper hard <laugh>.
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But I was like working at Objective from like doing a normal eight hour shift and then I'd run off to Clearcut.
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Uh, and I was cutting a film, uh, called Breaks with this woman called, uh, Mercedes Grower, who was this actress who just knew all these huge comedy actors like Julian Barrett and Noel Fielden and Julie Davis.
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And they kind of did this film for her pro bono.
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Um, and she was just like, I haven't got the money to pay for an editor.
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Can you do it <laugh>?
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And I was like, no one else gimme a chance, so why the fuck not?
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Um, and then we were in the cutting room for about two years.
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So yeah, I was like, this is my cv.
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I've got features on there, I've got, um, other things on there.
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I'd also done another feature doc, which is mad now I think about it.
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That is mad.
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So you had a staff role as an edit assistant where you occasionally managed to hop in and do online fixes or the occasional something extra that's more of what an editor might do.
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Yeah.
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Whilst then running off to cut a feature doc for free Yeah.
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And going out partying with your mates <laugh>.
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Um, and then like at 24.
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Yeah.
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Going to an agent going, can I, I don't know if I can join you or not.
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And they go, uh, heck yeah.
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Pretty much.
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That's pretty much how it went.
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<laugh>.
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What
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I love about this point in your career is that you sound like you are, you've, you've admit there were, were no barriers.
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You kind of sky's the limit quite, you know, perhaps naively, but ambitious and excitable and doing well, doing really well by working hard.
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Also being completely yourself.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Being, you know, like you say, purple hair, not really thinking too much about what people might think of you.
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How once you were sort of on board with an agent and then getting kind of bigger credits, how did your relationship with imposter syndrome change over time?
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It was, it was experiences with certain people, like multiple experiences.
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Some of them were much harsher than others.
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There was a particular one I was booked in for a dock.
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I came in at that time, I had like cotton candy, pink hair.
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It was constantly changing.
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It was like clementine a turtle, sunshine.
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And I'd gone into the edit.
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I was just putting in my settings and the director just burst into the room and he went, do not touch anything.
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You are obviously inexperienced, don't touch anything.
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I hadn't even said hello to the guy I hadn't even said I use, this is a line that I usually use is, okay, so you've got me contracted for X amount of time.
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If you don't like what I do by the end of the week, let's call it a break of contract and you can find someone else.
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It's, it's my literal go-to line <laugh> for when shit like this happens.
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It just happened a couple of times.
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So the director walked in and he didn't, did he know he, did he know who you were?
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Was he involved in hiring you or anything like that?
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Well,
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I, I thought he would've been, but he obviously wasn't.
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And
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What did he do then?
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Um,
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He went and had a discussion with the PM and he said he came back into the room and he said, fine, we'll keep you on for however long.
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And I mean, I, I worked for it for a couple of weeks or weeks or so.
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And bearing in mind this was a, it was a historical documentary about World War ii, which needed, you know, facts, figures.
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I was cutting one episode and all I was given was six bullet points for that whole time.
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So I'm having to watch all the interviews, one of which was in French.
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They had no idea I could speak fluent French at the time.
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So <laugh>, so, whoa, they had no
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Idea.
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That was a bit fluky.
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Um, so I was watching this interview and they'd, I think maybe they put it through a, like an online interpreter 'cause their transcription was totally wronged.
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Um, and I had to mention the fact that transcription was, anyway, it was about two weeks until we had the viewing with the channel.
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And he came into my suite and verbatim said, hi Yas, we've got a proper editor who's gonna finish the, finish this up before the viewing.
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Um, I've got a perfect job for you.
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Which is when the other editor came in, we went into his room and he was just like, I, he was so apologetic and <laugh>, he was like, um, he basically wanted to tidy up my project.
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And I remember coming back into the room I was in, I was like shaking.
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I was so furious.
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Uh, told the director to go fuck himself, <laugh>, uh, took my stuff and then went to the toilet and cried <laugh>.
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And this is after two weeks of editing with him though, and proving that you are excellent.
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Four weeks in.
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And he had never come into the editor.
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So he had stuck to the original assumption of what he, whatever he had thought of you as a what, mid 20 year old female editor.
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Mm-hmm.
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And then decided despite your work, had he watched the cut?
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No.
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No.
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He'd not seen anything.
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Yeah, it was absolutely horrendous.
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And what is
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Going through your head under that sort of pressure once you've cleared the air of, look, just work with me and I'll, you know, I'll prove it to you.
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Um, but that whole time, what is going through your mind?
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I just carried on as normal.
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I didn't think it was weird that all I was given was like six bullet points, <laugh>, and he wasn't coming in or having a look at anything.
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And at the time it was the AP who's now like a friend of mine, um, who was coming in and she was like, she was another woman.
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She was just like, this is a fucking shit show.
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Uh, it was like a total boys club, this place.
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And yeah, I mean, so I, I didn't think that that would happen because I'd never heard it happening to anyone else, <laugh>.
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So I just didn't think it would ever happen.
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Coming up
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A person's ability to tell a story is not defined by their race, their gender, their sexuality, any of those things.
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Their age is not defined by.
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So why is it in TV that it's defined by that
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You are listening to the Imposter Club and this episode is with Yaz.
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Almosawi.
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Was that the first experience you'd ever had of negativity to you in the workplace?
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Yes.
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To that degree.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So after you'd had that cry in the loo, what, what did you do about it?
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I phoned the agency and there's a woman called Becky and she was just so apologetic and she didn't know what to say 'cause I, I don't even know if she's ever dealt with something like that.
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And I went home and I remember I just cried for about two days.
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I honestly really bothered me.
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Um, which is, it is, it sounds so silly, but I think it's 'cause I'd hustled so much.
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And I get to a job and like Pure, I'm guessing is purely based on the way that I look all my age.
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At that time I was made to feel like I really just didn't belong.
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And that's kind of, that's the source I think, <laugh> of all of this.
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Um, and then as the years have gone by, there's been number, a number of other instances like walking into edit suites and the producer asking me if I can get them a coffee and some tea or some toasts.
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So this was another one.
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Um, I came into this edit and bearing in mind I was like wearing a I, so I was wearing a puffer jacket and a backpack <laugh> and sold in.
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And the guy was like, oh.
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I said, morning.
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He said, oh, morning, can we get some toast and some coffees please, <laugh>.
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I was so okay, <laugh>, here we go.
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Oh wow.
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And
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Then I sat on my edit suite and I put in my settings and then he just didn't stop <laugh>.
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He was like, are you an assistant here?
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And I was like, no, <laugh>, no, I'm not an assistant here.
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I am your editor son.
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I was so angry at that point.
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I just went, I am your editor's son.
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This guy was in his late sixties <laugh>.
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So, so I don't think he appreciated being called son to be honest.
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Um,
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Well you didn't appreciate being called an assistant.
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Exactly.
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Um, and then he phoned his PM and was like, basically you've got a child in here and <laugh> all this kinda shit.
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And yet again, I used the same line, if you don't like what you see the next week, let's call it a call, a break of contract, you can find another editor simple as <laugh>.
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It's like the, it's like, it was my go-to line four years and it's kind of stopped happening after a while.
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Well the fact that it's having to rest there, taking up any brain space at all is a a an unfortunate and horrible, um, reflection of bias in the industry, isn't it?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I think so.
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Well, and
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What do you think, what, what can be, what can be done about, about that and how should, how should we be handling this as an industry do you think?
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I don't know.
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Um, that's the thing.
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That's the question.
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I, I have no idea.
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I mean, we, I, we've try with like, I've got a WhatsApp group with female editors and gender nonconforming editors and we kind of all support each other, give each other advice.
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And if things like this come up or even jobs or whatever, but you, you, there's like a support system there, which is, I've only had it for like two years now.
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Um, but I honestly don't know.
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I feel like a part of me thinks that if those people could see what they were doing outside their own body <laugh>, if they could see it happening in front of, they'd be disgusted by it.
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Um, even now, I've been editing for almost 10 years.
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It's so difficult to get an opportunity as an editor.
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It's so difficult 'cause there's not the mechanisms for editors to come up and, and if they are trying to come up, they have to deal with, especially if you're female.
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And I don't, I always feel uncomfortable saying it, but especially if you're an ethnic minority, I, I feel <laugh> at some point.
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There's fucking black barriers there.
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There's, there's barriers that, and when you're a woman as well in, in post there's, there's barriers.
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Um, I don't know what those, I I just don't fucking get it because I guess when we are making films, we're making docs, whatever it is, um, we're telling stories essentially.
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And a person's ability to tell a story is not defined by their race, their gender, their sexuality, any of those things.
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Their age.
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It's not defined by.
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So why is it in TV that it's defined by that I just
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Well, and actually yes, to add to that, isn't it that having a diverse team from all walks of life, from different economic backgrounds, um, heritage, yeah.
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Um, disabilities isn't, isn't having all of that behind the camera inputting and influencing the content that we're making only going to make the content richer and better.
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I
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Think so.
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I absolutely agree with that.
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Um, the more people of different walks of life you go on a show is, there's, there's a quote by, uh, Benjamin Zeff and I that he said years ago on <laugh> on question time, but, and it's kind of related to this, um, it was about multiculturalism.
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But I think the same thing applies to, to tv.
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He's like 35 different cultures living in a community is 35 different ways to make a potato <laugh>.
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And it's,
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I love that.
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And it's like the same thing with rushes.
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I mean, with films and whatever, you put the same rushes in front of 35 different editors, you get 35 different ways to cut a show.
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They'll cut it 35 different ways.
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No one will cut it in the exact same way.
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And it's the exact same for shooters and script writers or whatever.
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Like no one will make the same thing.
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'cause we all bring something different to the table.
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It's, it's why like when I did Cara Deign, I absolutely loved it.
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'cause there were people from different who were different genders, different sexualities, different ethnic backgrounds and 'cause it was like a project about like the world <laugh>.
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But we bought all, put in something of ourselves into it.
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And I absolutely loved, loved that production.
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Not just because of the actual content.
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It was the people we worked with.
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Shout out to Fiona Caldwell and Kate Dart, it was so great, honestly.
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But like we, 'cause we were all from different walks of life and we were all very careful on how we present people on TV as well because it's, it is, another thing about this industry is how people are represented.
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And it's something that's always bothered me <laugh> because obviously I'm, I'm not just some, I varied, varied backgrounds.
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Um, Iraqi Georgian in there, there's French Algerian.
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But when I think about, so for example, when you say to the average person on the street, what do you think when you think Iraq, they think sadam terrorism, they think bombs.
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When I think of Iraq, I think of uncles in a hall complaining about when the food's gonna be there.
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Cigars and vodka <laugh>.
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It's, it's <laugh>.
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The representation of the people that I grew up with is, has never been accurately shown on tv.
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Do
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You think there's a part of you that has been so determined to, to make it in this field that you've chosen outta stubbornness as well because you want to represent the youth, um, females and mixed heritage backgrounds?
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Oh yeah, absolutely.
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I mean, to be fair, I think it is a toxic trait of mine.
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It is like my red flag is that I will do anything to prove people wrong.
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<laugh>.
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It's honestly, it's terrible.
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<laugh>
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Yass, what is the cost of this determination and stubbornness to prove people wrong all the time?
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When you walk into a suite and you are worried that someone's going to make an assumption about you and start calling their PM again to tell them they don't want you on their project.
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What is the personal cost to you?
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I mean, when I came into this industry, I was filled with just positivity and confidence and excitement and enthusiasm.
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And one thing, I do not want to be as jaded.
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Um, and I have met plenty of people, <laugh> who as the, the years have gone by in this industry, have become incredibly jaded.
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And I feel sometimes myself becoming that way.
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I never had imposter syndrome when I first started maybe arrogance of youth.
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Maybe I was just so confident in myself that I didn't think anything could stop me.
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It was me against the world kind of thing.
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But my experiences with, and it's not, the thing is it's not been, it's not every single person I've met in the industry.
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It's been a few dickhead <laugh>.
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And it is naivety, isn't it?
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You just think, I'm just gonna come in and create <laugh> And you don't think there's gonna be politics that you have to deal with or the
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Fact, no.
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And it makes me sad to hear you say that and it's, it is a massive shame that people can break your spirit like that.
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And look, I hear you.
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It's not all the time and you're still incredibly upbeat and excellent and you, you know, we should talk about what you do to put back, right?
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Because some of these experiences actually have led you to, to do something about the industry or to help others.
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Uh, I mean, how, how has, how have those bad experiences kind of manifested, um, for you and, you know, how have you turned them into something a bit more positive?
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Well, I mean, I, I mentioned I've got this WhatsApp group, it's not mine, but, um, I joined it last year and we kind of support each other.
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And it's, it, a big part of it is imposter syndrome.
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'cause we all get it.
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It doesn't matter if you are award-winning or not you or just starting out.
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We all get imposter syndrome at some stage.
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And being part of this group in the past two years has made me feel like I'm not fucking insane <laugh>.
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Like it's not just me.
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Um, and we support each other.
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We go for picnics where I made everyone fucking freeze <laugh>.
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Uh, it's big.
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I was about 10 o'clock and everyone's like, I'm freezing.
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I was like, enjoy yourself <laugh> fuck sake <laugh>.
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Um,
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We'll have fun in the British freezing summer.
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Exactly.
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Yeah.
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So, and there's like support is, and it also, my, also my agents are fucking awesome, but like within this group we're looking for ways to actually help younguns start to get into post-production or come editors and trying to find the mechanisms, mechanisms in which they can do that.
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For me, it was jumping on absolutely everything that I could.
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And then when I joined Indie Post, it was doing a few kind of edit assistant jobs and then that was it.
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I got Horizon and then the ball was rolling from there.
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But that's it.
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Like you, you've, what is interesting over the course of what we've talked about is that you entered the industry wide-eyed, super hardworking, no barriers, you know, threw yourself into it.
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It was totally yourself with your pink, purple, orange, whatever hair.
380
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Oh yeah.
381
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Then unfortunately, some experiences as you went through the ranks, um, were negative and sort of
382
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Broke or chink gave your chink in that armor.
383
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:16,410
Yeah, yeah.
384
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I suppose is one way of putting it.
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But now you kind of, you are, you are bringing it back round to going, I'm just gonna use that as a kind of energy to make a difference and to push on and to help the junior people come through the ranks to sort of future proof the industry by bringing new editors through.
386
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:49,930
But also, I mean, you and me talking like this, you seem, despite some nerves that you've admitted, you seem totally comfortable in your own skin.
387
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And I dunno how you felt during that time where you were, you know, you were trying to prove yourself more as a more junior person.
388
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But I doubt, I doubt you were particularly comfortable back then and being yourself.
389
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No, absolutely not.
390
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I mean, like it's an extreme, it's an extreme.
391
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I dunno if it's extreme.
392
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'cause I, I think that people who come from same economic backgrounds, same ethnic backgrounds, similar ethnic backgrounds have all experienced this.
393
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I eventually change, changed my hair to natural hair color.
394
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I changed the way that I literally changed my accent <laugh> for years, <laugh> for years.
395
00:29:30,050 --> 00:29:35,310
Um, so people wouldn't realize that I am not from where they're from.
396
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Do you see what I mean?
397
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Yeah.
398
00:29:37,210 --> 00:29:40,170
Um, like you call it code switching.
399
00:29:40,250 --> 00:29:41,360
I literally had to just code.
400
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:43,160
And I know everyone does it to a degree.
401
00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:46,890
Um, they have to change the way that they are doing works.
402
00:29:46,910 --> 00:29:52,930
But I, I fundamentally changed things that were part of me so I could be accepted in this industry.
403
00:29:53,470 --> 00:30:08,900
Um, and now I look back at it, I fucking shouldn't have <laugh>, but it's because I I, I just didn't see those, those kind of horrible moments made me think that I can't, there's no, they won't let me in.
404
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,180
It was, was the, the thought that was always in the back of my head.
405
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Like, they, they just won't let me in if I don't do these things.
406
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,380
Or if they don't see me as one of them
407
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,380
In a sec,
408
00:30:20,180 --> 00:30:28,780
I got this notification and then I, I I went onto it and then I get a WhatsApp message just where like, we've been fucking nominated for an Emmy.
409
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:44,090
This is The Imposter Club, the podcast bringing a sense of solidarity to creative types now on with the good stuff.
410
00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:56,010
Isn't that a shame, like that you felt that you had to be someone else and speak in a different way and look differently to be taken seriously in your career?
411
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:56,450
Yeah,
412
00:30:56,450 --> 00:30:57,090
Yeah, yeah.
413
00:30:57,190 --> 00:30:58,210
It is, it is a shame.
414
00:30:58,620 --> 00:31:10,490
Which is kind of why like, I wanna help younguns from all different backgrounds try and get into this industry and like, it sounds crazy, but last, it's total tangent.
415
00:31:10,630 --> 00:31:15,730
But I remember last year watching the BAFTAs, uh, the Big Zuu one.
416
00:31:16,150 --> 00:31:16,370
Uh,
417
00:31:17,670 --> 00:31:19,330
And we have very similar backgrounds.
418
00:31:19,390 --> 00:31:20,050
Me and a Big Zuu.
419
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,930
He's half, but he's from west half West African, half Middle Eastern.
420
00:31:24,990 --> 00:31:26,770
I'm half North African, middle Eastern.
421
00:31:27,550 --> 00:31:28,090
And he won.
422
00:31:28,150 --> 00:31:34,690
And like, I'm not a very emotional person apart from the times where I said I got angry and enough started crying during this podcast.
423
00:31:34,910 --> 00:31:38,800
But, um, I'm not really, I don't cry.
424
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:39,320
I don't.
425
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:45,860
And I just burst into tears 'cause he was like so himself and I thought that I had to change myself to be successful.
426
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:50,740
And there was this young guy who changed absolutely nothing about himself, was just authentically, genuinely himself.
427
00:31:51,600 --> 00:32:00,530
And I felt like I had something to prove or like, I felt like I had to do what I did to make it successful, make be successful within my career.
428
00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:01,930
That's bullocks now.
429
00:32:01,930 --> 00:32:02,290
I know that.
430
00:32:02,350 --> 00:32:03,770
But I didn't have the time <laugh>.
431
00:32:03,970 --> 00:32:04,930
I think that is brilliant.
432
00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:11,770
And and a really lovely example actually of how that hit home to you personally.
433
00:32:11,830 --> 00:32:12,170
Oh yeah.
434
00:32:12,170 --> 00:32:13,530
When he accepted that award.
435
00:32:14,330 --> 00:32:14,570
Absolutely.
436
00:32:14,870 --> 00:32:16,930
And we should, we should talk about your Emmy actually.
437
00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:20,570
Sorry to cut in there, but I'm like, you've won an Emmy yas.
438
00:32:20,570 --> 00:32:20,810
Yeah.
439
00:32:20,930 --> 00:32:26,330
I mean we're talking about all this, you know, being called a child in an edit suite and asking for tea and toast.
440
00:32:26,510 --> 00:32:28,570
You have an Emmy.
441
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,090
Yeah.
442
00:32:29,570 --> 00:32:29,650
<laugh>.
443
00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,890
I mean that is incredible.
444
00:32:32,670 --> 00:32:32,890
It
445
00:32:32,890 --> 00:32:32,970
Was.
446
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,050
Tell me about that project.
447
00:32:34,490 --> 00:32:37,010
I mean, it was a show that I'd cut on.
448
00:32:37,590 --> 00:32:40,200
Um, but we won the Emmy together collectively.
449
00:32:40,580 --> 00:32:42,080
I'm downplaying it <laugh>.
450
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,240
Nice, nicely done.
451
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:47,040
Um, but, uh, yeah, it was for a and e Networks, naked tv.
452
00:32:47,380 --> 00:32:49,880
Um, and it was a show called The Day I picked my Parents.
453
00:32:50,580 --> 00:33:00,730
And it was, it was a very difficult edit, but I was really lucky to be with the people who I was, I was working with, uh, eda, who absolutely loved called Teal.
454
00:33:01,470 --> 00:33:06,810
Um, and then later on with Reer Busbar who we became really close in the edit suite.
455
00:33:06,930 --> 00:33:12,530
I feel like when you are on those productions where it feels like you're fighting a war <laugh> that connection.
456
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:12,890
Yeah.
457
00:33:13,690 --> 00:33:18,690
<laugh>.
458
00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:15,250
Oh man.
459
00:33:15,250 --> 00:33:16,010
I've been there.
460
00:33:16,070 --> 00:33:18,770
And sometimes they're short projects, but they're so intense.
461
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:19,130
Yeah.
462
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,530
That you, those relationships last longer than the longer projects.
463
00:33:22,590 --> 00:33:23,730
Oh yeah, a hundred percent.
464
00:33:24,070 --> 00:33:28,770
And this, this went on, this was, there was one like a mid project, it was like three months.
465
00:33:29,630 --> 00:33:41,170
Um, and yeah, it was lots of back and forth and <laugh> with the studio and it came at like a, it was a really difficult time for me personally.
466
00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:46,050
'cause my dad was dying at the time and halfway through post he actually died.
467
00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:48,450
And then Oh yeah.
468
00:33:48,450 --> 00:33:49,050
It was rough.
469
00:33:49,350 --> 00:33:49,850
It was rough.
470
00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:50,890
Especially awful
471
00:33:50,890 --> 00:33:51,130
Time.
472
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:51,770
I know,
473
00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:53,930
Especially I know I'm laughing.
474
00:33:53,930 --> 00:33:56,410
It's 'cause I always laugh when I'm nervous and awkward <laugh>.
475
00:33:57,110 --> 00:33:57,330
Um,
476
00:33:57,910 --> 00:33:58,690
No, I get it.
477
00:33:59,150 --> 00:34:02,810
And uh, yeah, he, uh, yeah.
478
00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:06,970
And um, I remember the day he died, we had his funeral on the Saturday.
479
00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:09,170
I went back to work on the Monday, which was a fucking mistake.
480
00:34:10,889 --> 00:34:23,530
Um, and because I've just had this thing of just like, just work through it <laugh> because I've just, I've just, I've put so much of my work, so much of my life into my work, which is not exactly which I'm learning.
481
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:28,489
It's not exactly the most healthiest relationship with the worklife balance <laugh>.
482
00:34:29,070 --> 00:34:32,010
Um, and no, it's difficult to separate things out then, isn't it?
483
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:33,889
So is it a kind of coping mechanism for you?
484
00:34:33,909 --> 00:34:34,850
Do you see, do you think works?
485
00:34:34,850 --> 00:34:35,210
Sometimes.
486
00:34:35,210 --> 00:34:36,050
Sometimes it is.
487
00:34:36,429 --> 00:34:38,820
Um, sometimes I think it is.
488
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:45,610
Um, but yeah, it was not on this production <laugh>, so I, they eventually had to take a couple of days off.
489
00:34:45,790 --> 00:34:56,330
Um, but yeah, we finally made something that we were happy with and it, we, by the time we'd finished everything, do you know when you get to that point of the edit where you are just edit line, so you're like, I dunno what this looks like anymore.
490
00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:57,410
Oh, enjoy it.
491
00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:58,370
Can't see it anymore.
492
00:34:58,510 --> 00:34:59,010
No, no.
493
00:34:59,010 --> 00:35:00,650
In fact, I don't even want to watch it anymore.
494
00:35:00,730 --> 00:35:00,850
I
495
00:35:00,850 --> 00:35:02,690
Never, I actually never wanna see that show <laugh>.
496
00:35:03,230 --> 00:35:13,850
Um, and then a year later we was like lockdown and um, I got this notification and then I, I I went onto it and then I get a WhatsApp message.
497
00:35:13,990 --> 00:35:17,610
The swear was like, we've been fucking nominated for an Emmy <laugh>.
498
00:35:18,510 --> 00:35:25,770
And then I, because I I literally everything that I do, I don't, I never, I always see the mistakes while it's so bad.
499
00:35:26,070 --> 00:35:29,170
And I remember just going, why <laugh>?
500
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,490
Like, I was like, why were we even nominated?
501
00:35:32,190 --> 00:35:39,640
Um, but then, yeah, and then after, after that couple of weeks later, it was during lockdown as well.
502
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:43,240
So we, it was just this weird moment where we couldn't actually celebrate together.
503
00:35:44,220 --> 00:35:45,440
Um, and
504
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,200
Then we on a Zoom window going Yay <laugh>.
505
00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:50,720
And I was just watching it live on night.
506
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,240
I think it was like Facebook Live or something.
507
00:35:52,420 --> 00:35:55,240
And then we, we won it and I was like, oh shit.
508
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:56,960
Emmy
509
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:57,160
Man.
510
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,080
Amazing <laugh>.
511
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:03,960
I mean if you, if you ever needed a, uh, a confidence boost about your editing skills, surely that was it.
512
00:36:04,710 --> 00:36:05,000
Yeah.
513
00:36:05,730 --> 00:36:06,720
You'd think <laugh>,
514
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,160
I mean you should, you shouldn't need to with an Emmy to feel good about yourself.
515
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:11,520
I know.
516
00:36:11,740 --> 00:36:25,680
Um, but, and, and clearly two years later you're still having self-doubt, but surely me telling you again that you are an Emmy Award winner and that your CV is unbelievable and that indie post love you and took you on at 24.
517
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:30,120
I mean, you must believe somewhere inside you now that you are good at what you do yet, right?
518
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:30,560
I do.
519
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,680
And don't sometimes I'm just like, nothing can stop me.
520
00:36:33,700 --> 00:36:34,720
I'm great at this <laugh>.
521
00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:56,560
And then other times I'm just like, someone is going to clock on to the fact that I'm actually not very good, which is this I know is madness and I know it's stupid, but sometimes if I do feel particularly impostery, then I will will start being like, I've done this, this and this.
522
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:01,680
And when I've done this and when I did this, like I see myself doing it and it fucking annoys me.
523
00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:08,200
Um, but it sits and I know that it's because I feel like an imposter.
524
00:37:08,780 --> 00:37:12,600
But then it sounds like I'm just like being really arrogant and being like, I'm amazing <laugh>.
525
00:37:12,870 --> 00:37:14,080
It's just stupid.
526
00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:16,240
Oh, it's complicated, isn't it?
527
00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:17,120
It is complicated.
528
00:37:17,260 --> 00:37:17,600
It is.
529
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:27,320
I, I understand exactly why you do that, but hopefully you'll come to a point in your career where you don't feel the need to be proving it to other people.
530
00:37:27,670 --> 00:37:27,960
Yeah.
531
00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:28,400
Um,
532
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:29,720
Unwanted roommate.
533
00:37:29,990 --> 00:37:30,280
Yeah.
534
00:37:30,550 --> 00:37:30,840
They
535
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:31,000
Just
536
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,360
Won't, the unwanted roommate.
537
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,000
I'm not, I'm, I've written that down.
538
00:37:34,230 --> 00:37:38,480
I've also written down there are 35 different ways to make a potato <laugh>.
539
00:37:38,830 --> 00:37:39,120
Yeah.
540
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:41,080
I love that so much, honestly.
541
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:41,720
And so great.
542
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:42,800
I love that.
543
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:59,320
Um, last question for you then, as for as we wrap up at one of your lowest moments then when you were crying in the loos after that awful experience with the director, what would you say to that person that, that version of Yaz?
544
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:09,640
I would probably tell her that you'll be meeting dickheads, but you'll also be meeting people who will absolutely trounce those dickheads and have absolute faith in you.
545
00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:14,540
Um, and that you can really succeed.
546
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:27,750
I mean, I should, uh, definitely need to see a shout out to Simon Frederick for that from a f l because he was the job I took on after and I was, I was actually properly ready to leave the industry.
547
00:38:28,530 --> 00:38:35,540
Um, and I remember having a sit down interview and it was one of the first jobs for a long time that I didn't put on an accent.
548
00:38:35,850 --> 00:38:36,880
There was no accent.
549
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,830
I just, maybe it was like I don't give a shit.
550
00:38:39,930 --> 00:38:46,190
Or maybe it was not like I don't give a shit about the job or I just, maybe it was like, I don't give a shit about what this person's gonna think about me.
551
00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:54,310
'cause regardless of what happens, he's gonna have a judgment regardless of what accent I pan or how my hair looks or whatever.
552
00:38:55,130 --> 00:39:01,070
Um, and it, I was, I was, I was very ready to leave at that point.
553
00:39:01,250 --> 00:39:05,670
And I remember he told me about this project that he had and it was fucking incredible.
554
00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:08,780
Um, uh, it's called Black Comedy Legends.
555
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:13,700
So currently on <laugh> Black Hollywood, they've gotta have us love it.
556
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:14,380
The eye player.
557
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:16,140
Shameless plug, <laugh> Shameless.
558
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:24,700
Um, but yeah, we had this interview and he just had faith in me like that I could do it.
559
00:39:25,100 --> 00:39:34,630
'cause he was, I guess the story that he was trying to say tell from a lot of the people who he was still a lot of the contributors.
560
00:39:34,630 --> 00:39:38,510
And also his own story was like, I'm not gonna compare myself to fucking Woody Goldberg.
561
00:39:38,530 --> 00:39:40,030
But <laugh> was similar.
562
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:44,310
There was the, it was the feeling that you don't belong there, but you forced your way in.
563
00:39:44,690 --> 00:40:02,240
And yeah, he hired me on the spot and I remember like, I like walked, I was like by the Oxo Tower and I kind of walked towards Gabriel's wharf, looked around, had a cry, <laugh>, so stupid, had a little cry and then phoned my agents and I was just like, oh my God, they got the job.
564
00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:04,120
I'm so happy and fuck me.
565
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:04,720
It was a hard job.
566
00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:15,360
But yeah, it was like, it basically talked talking heads for Greek chorus with fair dealing in a completely unique and different way.
567
00:40:16,940 --> 00:40:20,640
No edit producer, 48 interviews all three hours long.
568
00:40:21,070 --> 00:40:26,120
Just me in the edit sometimes with someone else creating these stories.
569
00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:27,240
Baptism.
570
00:40:27,460 --> 00:40:27,680
Wow.
571
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:28,920
Fucking fire <laugh>.
572
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:31,480
But he interviewed you based on your cv.
573
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:31,720
Yeah.
574
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:32,640
I would imagine, right?
575
00:40:32,670 --> 00:40:32,960
Yeah.
576
00:40:33,420 --> 00:40:37,360
And then he met you, loved your attitude, your background.
577
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:43,320
I'm sure you brought fire to that interview 'cause you were really passionate about the content, so that's why he hired you.
578
00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:50,680
And it is so important that people in hiring positions use their gut about people like that.
579
00:40:50,740 --> 00:40:56,600
And don't just hire based on someone who's got the perfect credits on the cv.
580
00:40:56,720 --> 00:41:00,320
I I really feel passionately about that, that you proved yourself in that interview.
581
00:41:00,580 --> 00:41:09,120
He wanted to bring you on for who you are as well as the credits that all amounted to someone that he could see had real potential to do.
582
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:09,280
It
583
00:41:09,710 --> 00:41:11,120
Editors, us editors.
584
00:41:11,780 --> 00:41:15,840
We can, I can pro, I can promise you most of us can do any genre.
585
00:41:17,140 --> 00:41:18,630
Most of us can do any genre.
586
00:41:19,350 --> 00:41:30,950
I can, for example, on my CV in the space of a week, I did the last episode of the rap game and then I did a panorama two totally different genres and edits.
587
00:41:31,410 --> 00:41:44,320
We can do multiple genres, but I think people get stuck in, they'll look at CV going, it's very current affairs heavy, or it's very, um, reality heavy and they don't think that they can do other forms, which I just, I just think is absolutely
588
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:44,720
Bollocks.
589
00:41:44,790 --> 00:41:45,080
Yeah.
590
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:45,600
Personally,
591
00:41:46,140 --> 00:41:49,360
And actually it's a, it's a fault of the industry in general.
592
00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:50,320
Other roles too.
593
00:41:50,700 --> 00:42:03,440
Um, I know that from experience of like working in talent for a long time, people get too pigeonholed and, um, then they look at a CV of someone who's done lots of varied things, um, and go, what, what are they actually good at?
594
00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:05,080
Rather than seeing it as a strong point.
595
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:05,360
Yeah.
596
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,280
Um, and being able to turn your hand to anything.
597
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:07,560
Yeah.
598
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:07,840
Yeah.
599
00:42:08,180 --> 00:42:10,560
Oh, well, yeah, it is been amazing talking to you.
600
00:42:10,580 --> 00:42:11,000
Thanks.
601
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:12,640
I can't believe you were nervous.
602
00:42:12,740 --> 00:42:20,680
You've got all this, all this passion and fire to give and so much experience in the industry alongside your Emmy, which was a team effort.
603
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:25,200
'cause it's not all about you, it's not <laugh>, but you know, it's, it's not, but um, thank you for sharing.
604
00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:38,560
It is, I know it can be hard to share personal experiences, but you know, the aim of the Imposter Club is to reassure people that it's not just you that has these experiences and actually that you can turn them to, to a good thing.
605
00:42:38,860 --> 00:42:51,580
And by talking about them like this, I'm hoping that if we just reach one person's ears who might have otherwise made an assumption about a female editor from a minority background sitting in their edit suite, they won't do that now.
606
00:42:51,580 --> 00:42:51,740
Yeah.
607
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,700
Or they'll check themselves before they say a single thing about Tea and toast.
608
00:42:56,010 --> 00:42:59,580
Because that story is, I don't want that repeating No.
609
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,620
Um, ever again.
610
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:01,220
Me neither.
611
00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:02,140
Me neither.
612
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:03,180
Um,
613
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:03,740
No.
614
00:43:03,740 --> 00:43:06,860
But seriously, congratulations on an incredible career so far.
615
00:43:07,060 --> 00:43:09,780
I can't believe you're only 34 and you've done all that.
616
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,700
You've got so much, um, more to give back to the industry.
617
00:43:13,700 --> 00:43:13,900
Oh.
618
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,380
So, um, yeah.
619
00:43:15,590 --> 00:43:16,500
Thank you so much.
620
00:43:16,630 --> 00:43:17,100
Thank you
621
00:43:17,100 --> 00:43:17,660
For having me.
622
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,300
That's it for this episode of The Imposter Club, brought to you by Talented People.
623
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:30,820
I'm Kimberly Godbolt and it has been lovely to hang out with you while you commute slash gym slash dog walk or whatever you're doing.
624
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:38,140
If this has struck a chord, please go ahead and share it with your friends in that closed WhatsApp group, I'm not in or on your social networks.
625
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:45,820
Our aim is to reach as many fellow imposters as we can to share love and learnings and create a sense of belonging.
626
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,740
And if you haven't already, follow or subscribe to the pod so you don't miss an episode drop.
627
00:43:53,470 --> 00:44:00,900
Thank you to Talented People, produced and hosted by me, Kimberly Galt, exec producer Rosie Turner, editor Ben Mullins.
628
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:02,020
See you later.